A Desperate Christmas Eve

It’s Christmas Eve, and my 8-year-old son is desperate to open presents. Dorian’s been asking for a month to open his stocking (which I just stuffed two days ago). Waiting is soooooooo difficult. The anticipation is “killing” him, he says. “Can’t we just open one? I just want to get Christmas started!”Do you remember the […]

I can’t even holiday.

“What’s wrong with me? I can’t think…I can’t focus…I can’t even…even…Gahas;ldkfj;ahgdjf…”That, my friends, is the sound of overwhelmed. It also happens to be a direct quote from me that my husband heard multiple times over the past several weeks. Yeah, I finished the pre-Thanksgiving blog series on healthy boundaries with family only to find I […]

There’s one in every family…

Boundaries: Home For The Holidays Part 4 So far in this series we’ve talked about what healthy boundaries are (and are not), looked at how Jesus set boundaries and responded to people with unhealthy boundaries, and learned how to grow away from the primary illusion contributing to boundary issues. In this post we will apply […]

The Illusion of “Make”

Boundaries: Home For The Holidays Part 3 When I was fifteen I worked at Hillside Stables cleaning stalls, feeding horses, and whatever else needed done. Shortly after I started working there P.K., the owner of the stables and my boss, warned me about a horse named Blizzard. Every six weeks the horses needed de-worming paste […]

Jesus Dealt With Drama Too

(Boundaries: Home for the Holidays Part 2) We started this series with an overview of interpersonal boundaries. As a reminder: Boundaries are like property lines which separate your responsibilities from other peoples’. We are each responsible for our own Beliefs, Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions. Healthy boundaries make space for obedience to God (value-aligned living). Now […]

Boundaries: Home for the Holidays

(Boundaries: Home for the Holidays Part 1) The holiday season is both excitedly anticipated for its joys and infamous for it’s struggles. Difficult family gatherings are the specific struggle I have in mind, so for the next month we will learn how to live out healthy interpersonal boundaries in preparation for the festivities and family […]

“Emotions are Data, not Directives”

Today I’m going to do something a little different and review a TED Talk which a friend was kind enough to send me last week. Susan David is a psychologist, researcher, and professor at Harvard University. Through her research she has developed a set of “psychological skills critical to thriving in times of complexity and […]

Storm Surge

As I was trying, and failing, to write this week’s post I became aware that I was feeling frustrated and noticed thoughts likeI shouldn’t write about grief two weeks in a row. Anthony’s birthday and deathday are both past. I should move on to a different topic. Well hello there, Denial. Didn’t I just write […]

Grieving on Purpose

October the 10th was the two year anniversary of the day my little brother, Anthony, died. He was only 24 years old, and just barely that. His birthday was Oct. 5th. That’s him, in the photo, when we celebrated his 16th birthday I believe. Last week I thought about interrupting the Fear of Worthlessness series […]

Implications

Fear of Worthlessness (Part 4) So far in this series we’ve explored how the fear of being worthless drives us into all kinds of ineffective and ultimately harmful attempts to create value for ourselveshow radically accepting our inability to make ourselves valuable opens the door to accepting value from an outside sourceand how God, Jesus, […]