The Illusion of “Make”

Boundaries: Home For The Holidays Part 3 When I was fifteen I worked at Hillside Stables cleaning stalls, feeding horses, and whatever else needed done. Shortly after I started working there P.K., the owner of the stables and my boss, warned me about a horse named Blizzard. Every six weeks the horses needed de-worming paste [...]

Jesus Dealt With Drama Too

(Boundaries: Home for the Holidays Part 2) We started this series with an overview of interpersonal boundaries. As a reminder: Boundaries are like property lines which separate your responsibilities from other peoples'. We are each responsible for our own Beliefs, Thoughts, Feelings, and Actions. Healthy boundaries make space for obedience to God (value-aligned living). Now [...]

Boundaries: Home for the Holidays

(Boundaries: Home for the Holidays Part 1) The holiday season is both excitedly anticipated for its joys and infamous for it's struggles. Difficult family gatherings are the specific struggle I have in mind, so for the next month we will learn how to live out healthy interpersonal boundaries in preparation for the festivities and family [...]

“Emotions are Data, not Directives”

Today I'm going to do something a little different and review a TED Talk which a friend was kind enough to send me last week. Susan David is a psychologist, researcher, and professor at Harvard University. Through her research she has developed a set of "psychological skills critical to thriving in times of complexity and [...]

Storm Surge

As I was trying, and failing, to write this week's post I became aware that I was feeling frustrated and noticed thoughts likeI shouldn't write about grief two weeks in a row. Anthony's birthday and deathday are both past. I should move on to a different topic. Well hello there, Denial. Didn't I just write [...]

Grieving on Purpose

October the 10th was the two year anniversary of the day my little brother, Anthony, died. He was only 24 years old, and just barely that. His birthday was Oct. 5th. That's him, in the photo, when we celebrated his 16th birthday I believe. Last week I thought about interrupting the Fear of Worthlessness series [...]

Implications

Fear of Worthlessness (Part 4) So far in this series we've explored how the fear of being worthless drives us into all kinds of ineffective and ultimately harmful attempts to create value for ourselveshow radically accepting our inability to make ourselves valuable opens the door to accepting value from an outside sourceand how God, Jesus, [...]

The Source

(Fear of Worthlessness Part 3) Last week I made you angry by saying you're worthless. We all are. By ourselves we cannot dredge up enough usefulness or goodness to generate a value capable of withstanding our inevitable failures. Our first reaction to this reality is rebellion.I won't let this be true! I'll make myself valuable [...]

Rebellion or Radical Acceptance

(Fear of Worthlessness Part 2) I hope after last week's post you've started to notice which of your beliefs, thoughts, feelings, and actions are driven by fear of worthlessness, and how it is affecting your relationships with God and others. How can we respond to this fear when we recognize it and stop letting it [...]

Thomas the Tank Engine and Humanity’s Greatest Fear

Image Source (Part 1) Last week the topic of patience prompted an in depth look at misconceptions we hold about God's character and the fear those misconceptions produce in us. Specifically the fear of asking God for help because we think the kind of help he might give us will hurt. Living in fear of [...]